The gripping documentary, “Tell Them You Love Me,” tells the story of former professor Anna Stubblefield and how she cheated on her husband with a man with cerebral palsy, which ultimately led to her imprisonment.
Key Takeaways
- “Tell Them You Love Me” explores the unethical relationship between Anna Stubblefield, a former professor, and Derrick, a man with cerebral palsy, which led to her imprisonment and devastated her family.
- Anna’s attraction to Derrick created irreconcilable differences with her husband, Roger, and caused divorce.
- She cheated on her husband and also exploited a disabled person for which she stayed nearly two years behind bars.
The story began in 2008 when Derrick’s brother, John, approached Anna after class.
He inquired about possibly teaching Derrick to communicate using a keyboard, a controversial scientific technique.
Anna agreed, and their first session was arranged.
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Over the next two years, Anna met with Derrick regularly, both with his parents present and alone in her office.
Derrick, in his late 20s, and Anna, in her late 30s, formed an unexpected connection.
Using a technique where Anna supported Derrick’s spasming muscles, he could type sentences on a keyboard, unlocking his inner world after 30 years of silence.
Derrick’s family was overjoyed by the progress, but their excitement took an unexpected turn in 2011.
Anna revealed to his mother that she and Derrick were in love and had engaged in a physical relationship.
The family couldn’t believe her, so they demanded Anna leave Derrick alone and report her to Rutgers officials and law enforcement.
Later, through a phone call, she said,
I will put it in writing, prick my finger, and sign with blood—whatever makes you reassured that this is for real.
Anna Stubblefield
She continued, “I will leave my husband, and I will make a permanent life and home with Derrick.”
Anna Stubblefield Cheated On Ex-Husband
Her ex-husband, Roger Stubblefield, is a Black tuba player and classical composer.
The couple married in June 1989 when Anna was still a teenager in college and Roger was 24, playing for the Detroit Symphony Orchestra.
Over the years, their family grew with the addition of a son (firstborn) and a daughter, Zoe.
When Anna began developing feelings for Derrick in 2010, the couple lived a seemingly modest life in West Orange, New Jersey.
However, Anna’s attraction to Derrick puts a strain on her marriage.
“The marriage wasn’t great,” she admitted in court, “but I wasn’t in a state of wanting imminently to end it.”
On the other hand, Roger remained unknown about his dysfunctional marriage until “the prosecutors came and banged down the door.“
The betrayal took a significant toll on Roger and their children.
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In an emotional letter read during the court proceedings, he expressed his pain and disbelief at Anna’s actions.
He wrote,
I am shocked that Anna and her handlers would spin this incident as a disabilities-rights case in a weak attempt to deflect Anna’s willful participation when she should have known better.
Roger Stubblefield
Roger revealed that his daughter had turned against him, and he had been abandoned and betrayed and treated as “just another chunk of collateral damage.”
He wrote that the impact extended to their son, who had dropped out of school, “and I fear that he is indulging in harmful pursuits.”
Roger continued,
I do believe that Anna is a pathological liar and narcissistic. I believe it possible that given any opportunity she would definitely repeat the effort to pose herself as Anne Sullivan to Helen Keller, or perhaps a martyr like Anne Frank. She will stop at nothing to fool the court and seek vindication, regardless of the emotional and financial expense to her family or the primary victim’s family.
Roger Stubblefield
In Case You Didn’t Know
- Before marrying Roger Stubblefield, Anna was known as Margie McClennen.
- She is a Jewish woman and scholar of African philosophy and disabilities.
After viewing the documentary I think Ann Stubblefield is a criminal & should’ve had to serve her complete prison sentence. In the documentary she seems to want to garner sympathy, yet what she did to Derrick was a power play only & despicable‼️
You should study some information on CP they are very intelligent and are able to love and make decisions they have a difficult time expressing it due to CP many have had children and love in their life was she right for what she did absolutely not but was it taken a bit extreme by all parties, you have to think a mother who income is off a disability check on a child they have been taken care getting in a relationship who could possibly change the future of that income hate to say it but could cause anyone to see it differently the real victim is Derrick one for making it seem like he isn’t capable of love or decision making only thing I got out of the documentary is derricks voice wasn’t lost it was taken. if u truly watched it u would see that the relationship between them was genuine ofc no one would think it’s possible because he has CP and society eats at disabilities as if they aren’t capable to be normal which is false… feel like there are a lot of moving parts that weren’t mentioned in the documentary not sure where u said a power play lol no power play here he wasn’t her first student and I don’t think she was preying on him but then again who knows it could have been the self controlled love she could create on her own with Derrick due to the loveless marriage she had since she was a teenager maybe in the end she has a disability she was fighting and found the answer in Derrick I don’t believe a documentary can give all the details to make a decision but open minds to what can be possible and how far the human mind for wants and needs can cause someone to go to extreme lengths any trauma to a human and cause reaction and action changes that’s for anyone
Anna is what her ex husband says she is. I believe she used D.J. as a proxy for her husband, with whom she was experiencing an unhappy marriage. DJ allowed her the ability to control the relationship in every sense and it also allowed her to play out her savoir complex. I’d not be surprised to find some sort of sadistic relationship with her mother.
Fact: Adults with cerebral palsy and mental retardation are capable of consenting to sexual relationships with other adults
Fact: Another aide testified under penalty of perjury that Derrick was typing essays in response to books from his classes which she had never read.
Fact: People with mental retardation and cerebral palsy have the exact same sexual needs and feelings as people without their conditions. Many people with CP and MR have had successful marriages resulting in having children.
Fact: Derrick was an adult.
Fact: Derrick’s mother, Daisy, was receiving a disability check.
Given the context of Derrick’s mom’s financial conflict of interest, the fact that Anna had much more to lose by revealing her relationship with Derrick (which she willingly did anyway), and the fact that Derrick’s other aide testified that he was writing essays about books she never read (and would never have had the time or the financial motivation to read), it’s obvious that Anna is innocent. Derrick’s mom uses the fact that he masturbates as evidence that he was raped which is ludicrous because adults with his condition have the same sexual desires and functions as adults without his condition. In order for Derrick’s other aide to be lying, under penalty of perjury, about Derrick writing his own essays, would be to imply some vast, convoluted conspiracy being run by multiple perpetrators all for the purpose of Anna raping Derrick which she honestly could have done in secret, alone, without ever telling anyone and subsequently never getting caught, if that really was her goal. Lastly, you can’t force a man to have an erection, so if Derrick and Anna did actually have sex (which is never proven or documented by video or photographic evidence, and Anna could have been lying about having sex with him just as many people in history have claimed to have committed a crime only to be found to have lied about committing said crime), it would imply that Derrick was consenting to it.